I just want to disappear away from my kids. Is it awful to want some peace from it all? The crying, the whining? I'm about ready to scream at the top of my lungs if my 2-month old doesn't stop crying. I am so tired of having to pick him up every single time he cries. Fed up. Cry, keep on crying! I've had enough!
And my toddler is not helping matters. I'm been trying to potty-train him, but unless you watch him CONSTANTLY, you can't catch him needing to go. I don't want to have to watch him constantly! I don't want to watch endless TV with him. I'm too tired to go outside and let him run around, because I can't get everybody ready to do so. It's just too much...I just want to open the back door and sneak out and not come back for hours. I could never actually do that, of course, but it's really nice to fantasize doing so and escaping this nightmare of a mess called Motherhood.
What have I had today? A cup of coffee and about 3 of my husband's home-baked chocolate chip cookies. Nutritious. Oh, and I ate the crusts of my son's grilled cheese sandwich I made him. Calcium. There's nothing else in the house...grocery shopping is just another one of those tasks left undone here.
Still wailing away....hmm......
I'd call my parents to see if they'd help out, but they're not calling me, so I interpret that as meaning they're happy to have a day to themselves, away from clingy grandkids. Don't blame them. Now, I'm just stuck with them until my husband comes home.
Maternity leave sucks. I'd rather be back at work. Another 11 months to go.
Maybe if I lock myself in the bathroom and cry, I can escape this life for just a moment...but I've got yet another diaper to change.
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i'm so sorry your feeling overwhelmed. I know what it's like with one baby but two? Props to you for sure. maybe when hubby gets home, you can take a nice bath, light some candles, or even leave the house!
ReplyDeleteuuu.. cherly... Im totally in your shoes. With a toddler/ potty trainer in my hands and one on the way. Im totally going to get a taste of your MAYHEM! Wow 11 months on MATERNITY leave. Oh how I would love a leave that long or would I !!! lol. Hang in there mamas!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the support...it means a lot to me! I calmed down a bit afterwords, after blowing up in front of my son, I had to take a moment to really calm down. I felt depressed to hear myself admit that I "didn't want to be a mommy anymore": how can that be? I have two beautiful sons who just depend on me like children should.
ReplyDeleteMy husband came home and took over, and my sis gave us a nice visit. So, in the end, it wasn't so bad. I hope today will be a better day than yesterday. :)