Friday, April 10, 2009

4 Years Ago Today...

...I gave birth to my first son.

I have very faint memories of what my life what like before he came along. How did I manage to be passionate about anything prior to starting a was it possible that other things consumed me and that none involved taking care of a little one? What occupied my mind, and my heart, before he came along? School? Work? Partying? Sleeping? Was I fulfilled then? Was Life "complete"? I don't remember any voids, but my heart beats faster thinking there would be one now, since having started on this journey of motherhood 4 years ago.

As we celebrate my son's 4th birthday, I realize that I am a mom. It seems odd to state the obvious. But somewhere along the way, my focus gradually shifted from myself to this other person, graduating from out of necessity to one of desire, a deliberate want. From birth, the need to sustain this life takes force, sending you in to an automatic, zombie-like urge to protect and nurture your new baby. Cuddling, cooing, feeding, sleeping. Eventually, as they grow up, you realize your impact, your contribution. You become part of him, and him of you, a seamless continuum.

He groggily held me in his arms as I put him back to sleep tonight. You're my Best Friend, he told once more. You're MY Best Friend, as I kissed him back.

Happy Birthday, Hunny Bunny. :)


  1. happy birthday little man! his eye lashes are amazing!

    I can't wait until my guy can talk to me..

  2. I'm very jealous of his eyelashes: they're so long and curled. They look fake! They're like feathers. My youngest's lashes are growing like weeds, if I only had a little girl with lashes like this...with mascara, wow!

  3. Happy birthday to your son! Both your kids look so adorable!

  4. Very nice:) Happy 4th re-Birthday to you!

  5. Hi Cheryl! Thanks for the comment, your boys are so cute!