Wednesday, January 2, 2008

2008...Bring It!

I got a little depressed a few hours ago, reflecting on the past year and what became of it. What brought it on was a situation I find myself in year after year: finding a christmas gift certificate from the previous year, and wondering where in the world was I, that I couldn't take the opportunity and spend "free money" on myself in the previous 365+ days. It was a spa gift certificate given to me by my brother in 2006. Judging by the date on the gfit card, he bought it as a last minute choice, resorting to ambiguous, generic gift-giving rather than giving something I wanted or needed.

But maybe that's the problem. Maybe it's not the fact that I didn't use the certficate, wondering if it's gone stale, and my incessant penchant for "getting value" out of everything, or that my younger brother actually thought I was worth the $70 to go pamper myself. And maybe it's not the plain reminder that a whole year in my life flashed before me, and I haven't gotten around to smelling the roses and taking care of myself or even being organized enough to realize my pile of gift certificates accumulates more and more dust each year. Am I bothered more with the fact that my brother didn't think he knew me well enough to buy me an actual present? Am I mad at myself for allowing me to devalue his well-meaning gift when I didn't use it? And why do I psychoanalyze everything......

Maybe it's just that time of year. Many of us female-species tend to have a time-of-the-month, yes, I admit. I submit a possibly new imprint on the female persona by way of that time-of-the-year. Yearly cyclical moods must have an impact on how a female operates. Case in point....most females, correct me if I'm wrong, go ahead and make New Year Resolutions in the hopes of emerging a thinner, smarter, prettier version. Believe me when I say I'm still working on my beta version and have yet to set a release date!

But nonetheless, the beginning of a New Year always signifies, to me, not really what is good to come, but what in the past was bad. Not remembering the past year, alone, is bad, very bad. I can't say anything terrible happened to me, but nor did anything absolutely stellar happen to me. I used to do resolutions, and the typical ones at that. Lose 10 pounds, save more money, get organized, etc. I've stopped resolving to do much of anything, simply because history always dictated the opposite of my intentions. But if I were to resolve to do anything this year, I think it would be this: remember the extraordinary mundane.

Huh? Ok, my life's isn't fast-paced, hell, it's not not even clocking 50. But every single moment of boring I come across should mean something. If the house is quiet, that means everyone is content; if the house is loud, then life abounds and my family is active, healthy, alive. The floor has son has food he wants to eat, so who am I to stop him? So I'm loading the least I've got one now, and now have the option of loading or handwashing. More laundry? At least my washer is holding on despite how horrible it sounds and all the work I put it through. Husband's dirty socks on the floor again? Ok, I haven't figured out the wondrousness in that yet...but you catch my drift.

This reminds me of an email we've probably all received, about living life to the fullest, that there's nothing negative that abounds, and all is good in the world. I want to believe it's true, and that's my resolution. Wear my special dress even though it's not a special day. Make my face up each day, even though I feel like crap and feel like a mask would work more wonders. Smile more get smiles in return. Just being plain positive about everything and not being a schmuck. Maybe, if I do this, I'll be able to remember my mundane life in clearer focus. I guess I should start by not calling it mundane.

So, 2008, welcome! I give you myself, whole, uncut, raw. Happy New Year, everyone!


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